Are we promiscuous or are we just looking for love? How many partners are already too many17 Jun 2020
When you’re over thirty and you’re single, you’ve probably had more than a small number of men taking turns in your bed. But is it even possible to say how much is too much?
“You two should really think about each other,” one evening our mutual friend, a five-year-old relationship at the time, told me and my friend Klára. Her fragile soul has failed to process our stories of men who have passed through our lives in recent months.
I won’t lie, there weren’t many of them. We’ve both been singles for a while and we haven’t seen each other in a long time, so we had more than enough spicy material to disassemble.
But a smile froze at her words. We really thought - honestly, until then, it never occurred to us that our love “pace” could offend anyone, not just our age-old friend.
Do we really behave promiscuously when the length of our last romances roughly corresponds to the shelf life of the milk you leave standing in the fridge after opening? Or is changing partners more of a “by-product” of finding the real relationship we want to be rooted in?
If you are a single woman in your thirties and you do not live like a nun, a smaller or larger crowd of exiles will probably remain behind you on your love trail. Which may sound pretty scary. On the other hand, have you ever tried to calculate your “love average”? So deliberately.
Add up all your partners and divide them by the length of your sex life. What result did you come up with? I did such a small private survey, and most of the women who were willing to talk about it were about one man for half a year. It is not so important that the intervals between individual experiences are sometimes longer and sometimes shorter…
However, it is true that the number of sexual partners among women has been rising in recent years. The image of a sower man and a girl as a cuddly flower turns out to be a cliché.
Recently, for example, a 21-year-old student survey was conducted in the United Kingdom. While the men confessed to having sex with seven girls, their peers said they slept with an average of nine men. And morals are far from being released only west of our borders. According to Ottawa Escort, Canadian women are among the fourth most promiscuous in the world.
Why are today’s women increasingly willing to let men go to bed? Undoubtedly, emancipation plays a big role in this - why don’t we indulge in the same pleasure as men? But can we approach sex as coldly as they do?
Sure, there are lionesses of salons that are only about physical pleasure, but usually for us, sex carries with it a higher level of emotional load than the average scalp hunter experiences in the morning. According to proponents of evolutionary theory, gentlemen are simply programmed for promiscuity, the more partners they take, the more potential offspring they can produce. But us?
Eight ways to get rid of nervousness before sex “The behavior of some women today may give the illusion that their motives for casual sex are similar to men, but this is not the case. Women seek sex purely for physical satisfaction only when they have high testosterone levels (this affects less than 20% of women), or during ovulation, when their body is looking for the right man with the best genes. If a person only wants physical sex, they must have high testosterone levels, which most women rarely do. It is always high in men. Women have deeper motives, “writes Barbara and Allan Peas in the book Why Men Want Sex and Women Need Love.
So what are these motives? He says to Peas: “There are four main reasons why women indulge in casual sex: to increase self-confidence, to judge a man as a long-term partner, to gain some benefits, or for better genes.” What exactly does he mean?